Practical Dharma

Using Mindfulness to Deal with Stress

2012-02-04T23:46:53Z

In the past few months, I have been under more stress than usual. (I have been attempting to start a psychological practice to provide Applied Behavior Analysis to individuals with Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities, including Autism.) It has been stressful for a number of reasons that are irrelevant; we all feel stress at times.

I display a symptom that is pretty common when I'm under stress; I typically wake up around 3:00AM with a sense of dread and all sorts of worries about the problems I am trying to solve. It is highly unlikely there is anything I can actually do about these problems at 3:00, but the worry is often very persistent. In fact, it is so persistent it frequently interferes with sleep, which is very maladaptive since I need to be well rested to effectively deal with the problems when I actually can do something about them.

I lost sight of another great use for the practice of Mindfulness. Since I remembered I could use Mindfulness when I'm under acute stress, I have been able to solve the problem of worries that occur in the middle of the night. I simply lay still in the present moment with an empty mind, while I just wait for whatever comes next (usually natural sleep). How did I forget about this?

I often forget the most important things when I'm all stressed out.

Lojong 20 Practice even when distracted.

2011-02-27T15:14:37Z

5. Yardsticks (16 - 20)

(Become aware when I am distracted).

This saying is near and dear to me since like so many others, I struggle with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). I find it amusing that so many people who are critical of those who struggle with this, are merely unaware of their own issues in this area.

I admit that when I was a child and adolescent my difficulties may have been worse. I was a terrible student until I got to college. Parents of children with this problem take heart, I now have a PhD, a post professional masters in healthcare administration, and a number of high level Certifications. In college, I began my meditation practice and my beginning work in self-discovery by majoring in psychology.

In practice, the method underlying this saying is the same as that for developing mindfulness. When I become aware that I am distracted, I simply return to the present moment, task at hand, person I am with, or whatever is appropriate (in that moment). As I develop more skill at becoming aware of those moments when my distraction (lack of mindfulness) begins, these become much easier to deal with.

The position of the Practical Dharma is that we are all only human and live in a real world. Based on this, the goal of the Practical Dharma is not to transend to perfect enlightenment, but merely to be in this moment more often. There are many sayings that address this issue, like Lojong 26 Give up hoping for results. (Especially, hoping that all of this effort will result in perfect enlightenment.)

In this real world, the "best" I can hope for is to beecome aware when I am distracted.

13) Be grateful to everyone

2011-01-02T14:02:22Z

3. Using Adversity (11 – 15)

Obstacles presented by others are some of the very best opportunities to develop.

You may begin using this saying with the most obvious opportunities. This occurs when we encounter the irritating and sadly unenlightened people we meet each day. These are people like the rude ones who honk at us from their cars, or break in line, or are incompetent at their jobs. I recently had a "customer service" experience with my cellular telephone carrier that was a huge opportunity for me to learn from adversity. (Why yes, it was AT&T, how did you know?) I will not burden you with all of the details. The point is that while I may have compassion for the ignorance and suffering the "service representatives" cause for themselves and others, I still have to take care of business. I attempted to do this without becoming so perturbed that it interfered with my peace of mind, while at the same time holding on to the energy needed to do what it took to resolve the issue. (Such as send a registered letter to the company president, contact my state attorney general, etc.) I was just trying to be funny when I called my issue with AT&T, "the mother of all Jihads".) My issue was resolved after a few weeks.

I felt anger and compassion for the ignorance of the "service representatives". Anger for the obvious reason, and compassion because they were obviously stuck in an employment situation in which they were instructed by someone to say, "we don't have to refund all the money; do you want the $150.00 or not". (I was able to obtain the entire $1200 that AT&T owed me.)

However, I contend this sort of situation is relatively easy to use as an opportunity because there is a clear discrimination, from my expectation of what will happen to that which actually occurred. The same is true of the honked horn. It may actually jar me into awareness of the opportunity it presents to examine my own issues; and it abruptly challenges my ability to have compassion in action. These abrupt and clearly external situations are easier than situations in relationships with others that are maintained on a daily or even intimate basis.

In these intimate relationships, the emotions, issues, and problems are more complicated. How do I know when my own behavior has set the occasion for the behavior in the other person? It is so much easier when the opportunity for enlightenment hits us out of the blue. When it creeps up on us day by day, it is much harder to be fully aware.

My suggestion for using this Lojong is simply start with the opportunities that are easily discriminated, then gradually work your way up to analyzing how your intimate relationships provide opportunities to develop.

Enjoying the ride to the cemetery

2010-05-02T14:45:38Z

Meeting Buddha on the Road

I posted on this topic once before (http://web.archive.org/web/20070520195445/www.practicaldharma.com/?m=200601) in January, 2006. "It" happened to me again the other day. There is an employee of the hospital that everyone knows because he delivers the sheets and blankets to all of the units. He is a bit of character. He wears a uniform that looks a little bit like a police uniform with motorcycle boots (although it is in compliance with the uniform standard for his department.) He rolls the sleeves of his (always) short sleeve shirt up, and sometimes I think I can see what looks like a pack of cigarettes in that James Dean style. (This would be purely for affect because smoking is not allowed anywhere on hospital grounds.) He wears his hair in a sorta Mohawk, although the sides are not overly short. I have seen him ride up to work on his motorcycle.

I was taking a shortcut through the hospital basement when I ran into him. He said he could hardly wait for Friday, even though this was Tuesday afternoon. I casually mentioned that I had a good weekend, but that I don't like to "wish my life away by living for the future". He picked up right away, saying, "Yes, you can't enjoy the moment you are in if you do that." Then he said, "... like, you can't even enjoy a nice ride to the cemetery...." He seemed embarrassed that he had said that and added some short explanation, "... like if you were going there for a family member ...." But I was enthusiastic in my agreement with him. I thought he said the most profound thing I have heard from the mouth of another in years!

I hope I can live in the moment to enjoy this ride to the cemetery.

12) Drive all blame into one.

2010-01-11T19:12:59Z

3. Using Adversity (11 – 15)

Suffering has no other cause than ego clinging.

    This slogan is pretty dogmatic. It would only take one example of suffering without ego clinging as a primary component, to undermine it. Please post an example if you have one.

    The only caveat for posting a counter example is that suffering is not the same as pain or discomfort. We are all aware that the world is full of pain and discomfort. Pain transforms into suffering when I demand that it be something else. This point has been made many times and in many places. Radical acceptance is not that I change my view to allow that everything is just and right. There are many things that are not fair, just or right. The point of a radical acceptance is that suffering results when I fail to accept that the event has occurred or is occurring.

    Radical Acceptance does not mean that as soon as I accept that an event has occurred, I am no longer in a position to make an effort to change it or correct it. It is argued that I am in a much better position to make an effective effort to change the event because I have accepted its reality. I am no longer blinded by my demand that things be different than they are. Examples, of demanding that things be different are things like, “I can't stand it when this happens.”, “I can't believe he did this to me.” , “I just can't accept this diagnosis.”, “This just is not fair.” etc. Each of these statements represent a barrier to seeing reality clearly and result in suffering in addition to the pain of the event.

    The root of every demand that things be different than reality is my clinging to “but I do not want it to be this way” and the corollary “things should, must or ought to be the way I want.”

God grant me the serenity  to accept the things I cannot change;  courage to change the things I can;  and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;  enjoying one moment at a time;  accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;  taking, as He did, this sinful world  as it is, not as I would have it; ....

(IMJ: the rest of this slips into Ego Clinging, but the first part is good stuff).

--Reinhold Niebuhr

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10) Begin Taking and Sending with Yourself

2010-01-06T16:39:20Z

2. Formal Practice (2-10)

Until I can do this for myself, I will be unable to do this for another.

The Taking and Sending referred to in this saying is the practice of Tonglen or Loving Kindness Meditation. This topic is discussed in Logong 7, so the this post addresses why there is an instruction to begin Taking and Sending with yourself.

What do you think of the saying, "Until you love yourself; you will be unable to love another?" If you understand this correctly, you probably already get this entire post. Thank you, if you are still willing to read these thoughts on the matter. If you would be interested here is a link to the stories of Pygmalion and Narcissus. Love requires the ability to want the best for the other person, and in so doing our benefit is incidental (but probably inevitable).

I can take in my own sufferring and send out love and kindness to myself, whenever sufferring arises in myself; to the extent I become aware of this arising. No matter how "enlightened" I am, there will be moments when I forget or become blinded to the causes of sufferring. Hopefully, I can become aware of these moments as soon as they arise (and eventually before that). If you would like to read more about this, try 42) Train in 3 Difficult Disciplines. The practice of Taking and Sending with Yourself will be particularly helpful as you begin to use Lojong 42 to deal with the recurrent events that we all encounter while working towards "Peace of mind in the real world."

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9) Practice every activity with slogans

2009-12-26T12:55:59Z

2) Formal Practice (2 - 10)

The lojong sayings cover the major philosophical underpinnings and practical requirements of the Dharma.

The sayings are helpful in learning about the philosophy and practice of the Dharma, however, it is likely that the sayings will be misunderstood if you don't already know. Many of the sayings are written to highlight the paradoxes inherent in having a right understanding. For example, on the surface "26) Give up hope of obtaining results" does not make sense to the traditional western mind. And if fact, sayings like this one can be a yardstick of right understanding.

As you become more familiar with the sayings, you will find that one of these can be applied to every activity you do. And as you apply the sayings in everyday life, it will move your right understanding from moments of meditation to everyday life.

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The Lojong Sayings

2009-10-31T13:28:14Z

Tonglen / Lojong:

Tonglen - sending & taking. Lojong - practice w/ proverbs.

1. Preliminaries

1) First, learn the preliminaries.

a. Appreciate Life & hearing the Buddhadharma,

b. Know the reality of death,

c. Accept Karma,

d. Accept the inevitability of cyclic suffering)

2. Formal Practice (2-10)

2) Think all phenomena are like dreams. (My reality depends on momentary perception)

3) Analyze the unborn nature of awareness. (There is no "Me" independent of momentary perception)

4) Let even the antidote vanish of itself. (Don't cling to the method)

5) Settle in pure awareness (samadhi - enlightenment / sabbodhi - awareness of things as they are)

6) In post meditation, be a child of illusion. (Between sessions maintain awareness of the dependent nature of reality)

7) Alternately practice sending & taking. (Meditation: Breathe in, All Suffering / Breathe out, Everything Good)

8) 3 Objects, 3 Poisons: 3 roots of virtue. (Objects of attachment, ...of hostility,...of ignorance: into virtue)

9) Practice every activity with slogans. (Tonglen & Lojong in every act)

10) Begin taking & sending w/ yourself. (Until I can do for myself, I will be unable to do for another)

3. Using Adversity (11-15)

11) When evil fills the world, change adversity into the path of awakening. (Each obstacle is a chance to wake up)

12) Drive all Blames into One. (Suffering has no other cause than Ego Clinging)

13) Be grateful to everyone. (Obstacles presented by others are some of the very best opportunities to develop by Lojong)

14) Emptiness comes in meditation on the four Kayas

a. All is empty,

b. First arising of compassion from emptiness,

c. Compassion w/out conditions;

d. Simply being w/out distinctions, categories, divisions)

15) Whatever you encounter, immediately apply it to meditation. (Meet everything with awareness)

4. Life & Death (16)

16) Practice the five strengths

a. Determination to be egoless

b. Through being mindful & aware

c. So as to cultivate Bodhicitta

d. To release clinging grasping

e. Through prayer for the benefit of all others.

5. Yardsticks (17-20)

17) All dharma has a single goal. (All lessons are designed to subdue ego-clinging)

18) Of the 2 witnesses, follow the one. (Be true to myself)

19) Always have the support of a Joyful mind. (With help of a joyful mind, difficulty is an aid to Tonglen - Lighten Up!)

20) Practice even when distracted (Be aware when I am distracted)

6. Commitments (21-36)

21) Abide the three Basic Principles

a. Keep promises,

b. Attend only to the essential,

c. Practice the same way in each situation

22) Transform your desires, & remain who you are. (Do not be ostentatious in my new attitude of compassion)

23) Do not discuss defects. (Of others or myself)

24) Do not ponder others. (It is merely a mirror of myself & "Pray: May all be free of this suffering.")

25) Work on your greatest imperfection first. (Focus full awareness on the place where I repeatedly stumble.)

26) Give up hoping for results. (It creates barriers to earnest practice on the path - Bodichitta)

27) Abandon poisonous food (Even virtuous thoughts & actions, if motivated by Clinging to concrete reality & self-cherishing, are like poisonous food)

28) Don't rely on consistency. (As when I am unable to break from the past.)

29) Don't malign others. (Do not gossip either good or bad.)

30) Don't wait for an opportunity (Either: to engage in practice or to 'ambush' another)

31 Do not strike at weakness (Don't criticize belief, love, trust, etc.)

32) Don't transfer the Ox's burden to a cow. (Don't shift responsibility for my feelings, blame, or other burdens)

33) In your practice, don't aim to win. (The Practice is not a race or competition to be better than others)

34) Don't act with a twist. (Act without ulterior motive, only be direct & straight, not sneaky, not sideways)

35) Don't make Gods into Demons. (Avoid inflated ego that may use the practice to avoid real insight)

36) Do not expect advantage from suffering. (Yearning for another's suffering merely guarantees my own)

7. Guidlines (37-57)

37) Do everything with One intention. (Transform everything, even obligations into Spiritual Practice w/ "Bodhichitta" intention)

38) One method will correct all wrong. (Awareness / mindfulness)

39) 2 Actions on 2 Occasions: beginning & end. (Begin & end each day with a commitment to Bodhicitta practice)

40) Be patient, whichever of the 2 occurs. (Don't jump into my habitual pattern in either good or bad fortune)

41) Observe two precepts even at the risk of life. (Awareness & compassion - Osho)

42) Train in 3 difficult disciplines.

First, become aware when disturbing emotions arise;

Later, as soon as I am aware, turn from it;

Finally, take action to prevent the seed before it is sown)

43) Take on the 3 primary resources. (Teacher, Environment, Teachings)

44) Don't allow 3 things to weaken. (Three Jewels / Objects of Refuge: the Buddha, the Sangha, and the Dhamma/Dharma)

45) Keep the 3 Inseparable. (Integrate Practice in Body, Speech, & Mind)

46) Deep & pervasive training: unbiased in every area. (Without beliefs, without boundary, without holding back: in all 3 objects: #8)

47) Meditate on that which provokes resentment. (Use resentments as a reminder, not an obstacle)

48) Do not rely on external conditions. (All conditions nurture the practice of Lojong/Tonglen)

49) This time, practice the main points.

a. Benefit others,

b. Experience rather than books,

c. Bodhicitta is most important.

50) Avoid these 6 mistakes

AVOID:

a. Impatience - be patient in all things esp. the practice,

b. To want wealth, happiness, pleasure, etc. at the expense of the practice,

c. To enjoy only pleasures & not the practice,

d. To have only compassion for innocents & not for all - even evil doers,

e. To be 'helpful' in a wrong way,

f. Inappropriate rejoicing.

51) Do not be erratic. (Practice with steady consistency)

52) Train wholeheartedly. (After I think I get it, start again to go to the next deeper understanding - again & again)

53) Find freedom by using: Examination & Investigation. (Be aware of the strongest clinging, then notice when it arises, again & again)

54) Don't make a fuss. (Neither brag or wallow in self-pity - every experience is illusion)

55) Don't be jealous. (It will lead to wrong action)

56) Don't be frivolous or fickle. (Don't irritate others by my action, such as jealousy or "holier than...")

57) Don't expect thanks. (Don't do anything merely for the recognition of others)

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An Early Practical Dharma

2009-10-17T15:27:58Z

This book by Champat Rai Jain was published in 1929. The translated title is The Practical Dharma. My bookmark is on Chapter IX: Dharma in Practice. This is the second edition of the book, the orginal went by the title Practial Path. Unfortunately, you will not be able to buy this book.

Today I am cleaning up my office. I moved many of my books upstairs to the attic. I have a Kindle and think one day, I may be able to release my attachment to books (ha! they'll just be hidden in cyberspace, my attachment will be the same). At least my office space will look neater. First we moved our music into digital space and soon I think "writings" (books) will go the same way. Perhaps using the Kindle is "shaping up my behavior". By using an eReader, I am letting go of some of my attachment to books.

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8) 3 Objects, 3 Poisons, 3 Roots of Virtue

2009-10-14T20:25:49Z

2. Formal Practice (2 - 10)

8) There are three opportunities presented by the objects of attachment, objects of hostility, and objects of ignorance. Each of these three can set the occasion for virtuous action.

The Lojong sayings are often stated in a "catchy phrase" that facilitates remembering the meaning. (My memory for words separate from meaning is very poor, so I generally do better just understanding the meaning behind a saying.) We are often reminded in the sayings, that adversity presents an opportunity to wake up.

This saying points out three things that can be significant barriers to enlightenment, can also be used as an opportunity to become aware. Attachments are the major source of suffering. The Four Noble truths recognize the primacy of attachments as a cause of suffering. As soon as we become aware of attachment, we are given an opportunity to release from it so we turn to a path that leads to less suffering (in the shorthand of this saying, this is labeled as a virtue.)

Hostility is also a very significant barrier to peace of mind and enlightenment because it is the opposit of compassion. Insight leads to compassion. A frequent misunderstanding of the core teaching of detachment occurs when the listener does not see the connection to compassion. Detachment without compassion is just another way to be selfish (overly attached to self).

Ignorance is the antithesis of awareness and insight. Most of us reading this would object to the general label of being ignorant, because of the great effort we put into study and meditation. Yet there are moments when each of us will be blind to our motivations, unaware of our unkindness, not see the effects of our actions, and miss the connections between our actions and the results of our actions (karma). As soon as we wake up, there is an opportunity for increased awareness and insight in which ignorance can be transformed into actions on the path of relief of suffering for ourselves and others (bodhichitta).

Objects of attachment, hostility, and ignorance (which result in corresponding poisons to the path of enlightenment) can set the occassion for transformation into right actions.

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