Entries in Acceptance (1)


Lojong 12) Drive all blame into one.

3. Using Adversity (11 – 15)

Suffering has no other cause than ego clinging.

    This slogan is pretty dogmatic.  It would only take one example of suffering without ego clinging as a primary component, to undermine it.  Please post an example if you have one.

    The only caveat for posting a counter example is that suffering is not the same as pain or discomfort.  We are all aware that the world is full of pain and discomfort.  Pain transforms into suffering when I demand that it be something else.  This point has been made many times and in many places.  Radical acceptance is not that I change my view to allow that everything is just and right.  There are many things that are not fair, just or right.  The point of a radical acceptance is that suffering results when I fail to accept that the event has occurred or is occurring.

    Radical Acceptance does not mean that as soon as I accept that an event has occurred, I am no longer in a position to make an effort to change it or correct it.  It is argued that I am in a much better position to make an effective effort to change the event because I have accepted its reality.  I am no longer blinded by my demand that things be different than they are.  Examples, of demanding that things be different are things like, “I can't stand it when this happens.”,  “I can't believe he did this to me.” , “I just can't accept this diagnosis.”,  “This just is not fair.”  etc.  Each of these statements represent a barrier to seeing reality clearly and result in suffering in addition to the pain of the event. 

    The root of every demand that things be different than reality is my clinging to “but I do not want it to be this way” and the corollary “things should, must or ought to be the way I want.”

God grant me the serenity 
to accept the things I cannot change; 
courage to change the things I can;
 and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time; 
enjoying one moment at a time; 
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; 
taking, as He did, this sinful world
 as it is, not as I would have it; ....

(IMJ: the rest of this slips into Ego Clinging, but the first part is good stuff).

   --Reinhold Niebuhr

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